#flashfictionfriday: I am afraid

“I am afraid,” she spoke the truth back to herself hoping that someone would hear her and tell her it was a lie. But she was alone in the room. Just her and her fears and a glimpse of a fearless self struggling to breathe. The fearless self cowered in the corner waiting to be rescued. A little light blinking where its heart beat. Waiting for her to wake up to that fact that she needed to fight her fears with fearlessness. She couldn’t remember ever being fearless, so she didn’t do anything. She found herself a corner, laid down and waited to be rescued.

It didn’t survive long, her fearless self. It whimpered and faded into the darkness as she closed her eyes and let her fears merge into her. When she opened her eyes, it was dark. She drowned.

#FlashFictionFriday: suddenly beautyful

Suddenly he was beautyful.

She was sure she was still looking at the same fool. The same fool who used to pull her pigtails out when she was eight. The same fool who moments ago pulled her ponytail in jest. Yes, he still thought that was funny. Seemed to enjoy it more when she got annoyed. Always made her end up laughing when he smiled at her as if he hadn’t just annoyed her.

There he was suddenly beautyful. Suddenly making her feel things she had mailed express to guys who didn’t deserve her time. He was always there when the things she sent were returned unopened stamped “return to sender”. He’d brush a runaway tear off her cheek, serve her all the gin she wanted then let het write sad poetry and listen to love songs. He’d leave quietly when she started to howl the songs.

She gazed at him trying to figure out when it was in the last twenty years of friendship that he had become this. Beautyful.

“What?” he smiled.

“You’re beautyful,” she said.

“I know,” he said. He chuckled at her frown. “I’ve always known it from the way you look at me. Even that first day we met when I pulled your pigtails.”

She was stunned as he averted his eyes, doing that funny chuckle he always did when he felt awkward.

“You know I hate it when you pull my hair,” she said. He glanced at her and smiled. A goofy smile she had never seen.

“I pull your hair to find out if you’ll stop looking at me that way,” he gazed at her. Reached over and instead of pulling, brushed a stray hair into place.

And just like that, it was she who suddenly felt beautyful.

#FlashFictionFriday: In the Eye

She should’ve been storming. Exploding, crashing, tearing hair out. Tossing the wig. Screaming. Losing it.

But something had settled. Cut through the chaos. Slipped through the din. Landed in her centre and quietened. She wouldn’t call it peace. Not with all the bedlam. There would be havoc all around. She thought she should be in the maelstrom but realised not this time.

So she simmered. Opened up a door that let zen in. Seemed after months of her looking for zen, zen had come and found her. She wasn’t sure how long this would be but it was right now. There would be no raging on this day.

Just the silence.

written in blood (#FlashFictionFriday)

She woke up one morning. Found he was gone. A note on the mirror, “Decided to fade to black.” Written in blood.