one of those days 

i’m having one of those days when humaning feels futile. when waking up, doing working, making the bed, bathing, answering the phone feels like a lie. like humaning is just being a hamster on a wheel. 

and thinking and feeling is heavy.

and breathing and being is heavy.

and there’s no answer to “why” that will be satisfying. so i trudge along. this breathing in and breathing out thing seems to run automatically. so i’m waiting for a day like yesterday when the race didn’t feet so ratty. 

and pushing.

through.

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