a layin on of hands by Ntozake Shange
i was missin somethin
somethin so important
somethin promised
a layin on of hands
fingers near my forehead
strong
cool
movin
making me whole
sense
pure
all the gods comin into me
layin me open to myself
i waz missin somethin
somethin promised
somethin free
a layin on of hands
i know bout/ layin on bodies/ layin outta man
bringin him alla my fleshy self & some of my pleasure
bein taken full eager wet like i get sometimes
i waz missin somethin
a layin on of hands
not a man
layin on
not my mama/ holdin me tight/ sayin
i’m always gonna be her girl
not a layin on of bosom & womb
a layin on of hands
the holiness of myself released
i sat up one nite walkin a boardin house
screamin/ cryin/ the ghost of another woman
who waz missin what i waz missin
i wanted to jump outta my bones
& be done wit myself
leave me alone
& go on in the wind
it waz too much
i fell into a numbness
til the only tree i cd see
took me up in her branches
held me in the breeze
made me dawn dew
that chill at daybreak
the sun wrapped me up swingin rose light everywhere
the sky laid over me like a million men
i waz cold/ i waz burnin up/ a child
& endlessly weavin garments for the moon
wit my tears
i found god in myself
& i loved her/ i love her fiercely
& this is for colored girls who have considered
suicide/ but are movin to the ends of their own rainbows.